#I forced Bowie to read all of the chapters in like a week we went. insane.

[april-doodles]

My pal @frogtimefool have been going insane over House of Ashes so naturally we got hooked on a silly little fanfic by @katzenprinz and @thunderwhenhepurrs and we went SO insane over the characters they made for this story that we had to draw them. I’m not sure they’re described in full-detail in the fic? So we have our own little headcanons about what they look like :)

(And then bonus silly doodles under the cut)

[mmmleckerlecker]

Please do go off about why you chose certain chapter titles

I wanna know it all 👀

Well. I mean. *cracks knuckles* If you insist....

(putting in a read more tho cause I just break down every chapter title so it gets lengthy)

Some of them are kinda obvious and simple. Like “The Meeting” details Felix and Benji’s first meeting. Duh.

“‘Someone Like You’” is named after a quote in the chapter HOWEVER it IS a quote that comes back once Felix learns about consuming and what Mrs. Marotta truly meant when she said it.

I think “Lion’s Den” was my first ‘clever’ chapter title. There’s not really anything deeper to it than being a reference to the fact that Benji innocently walks into a house filled with preds (the majority of which have consumed fatally)

“The Truth” is simply named for the fact that it’s the chapter where Felix learns the truth about preds and consuming. However, it’s somewhat unintentional (maybe I did it subconsciously), but I think most chapters that start with ‘the’ in the title, are sort of markers for important milestones in the story/character arcs. So, for instance, so far the Big Things to happen have truly been their meeting and learning the truth

“Trust” is also pretty straightforward but I do think it’s the beginning of a sort of reoccurring theme in the story. I also just find the concept of trust fascinating, especially when it’s given to people who naturally don’t seem to deserve it (like Felix)

And then there’s “Crush”!! This chapter was definitely named after the fact that it’s about Camille’s crush on Felix. HOWEVER I liked the sound of it because it was a sort of dark foreshadowing for how their relationship would evolve as time went on.

Was the chapter “Changes” inspired a little bit by the David Bowie song? Maybe so. Do I hear it play in my head every time I read the chapter title? Who is to say? (Same kind of goes for “‘Someone Like You’” where that Adele song plays)

Mmm and “Instinct” was of course named after the fact that this is when Felix’s pred instincts really kick into overdrive and start pushing him down the road to becoming Lux. I know it’s another simple title but I like to think it mirrors “Trust” in a way. Not only are they single word titles, but they’re both reoccurring themes in the story. They’re also both sort of the defining factor in Felix and Benji’s relationship. Does Benji have enough trust in Felix that he’s safe? Are Felix’s instincts powerful enough to jeopardize that safety? Only time will tell...

Okay now listen. Imma be honest. The line, “For Benji,” was NOT originally in this chapter. I was trying to come up with a title and I was like “doesn’t Felix think that to himself at some point?” Turns out ahh nope he didn’t. But no worries. I can do what I want. I simply slipped it in there and now it’s the chapter title. I really only wanted this title For The Drama.

Oof the title for “A Single Condition” was a little difficult to come up with. It’s just that SO MUCH happens in this chapter. It’s the longest chapter in the story so far.* But ultimately the line about Prey Man having a single condition really stood out to me as it’s basically the driving force for the next few chapters so that’s how I got that chapter title. (*Now when I say it’s the longest in the story, I mean it’s the longest POSTED chapter. There’s been more than one chapter I’ve had to split into two when posting cause they’re just too damn long.)

Now “The Scorpion” is one I’m super proud of. I uh dunno how many people got the reference but it’s to the Fable called “The Scorpion and the Frog” where a scorpion asks for a ride across the river on the back of the frog. The frog refuses at first, saying the scorpion will surely sting and kill him while he swims. The scorpion reassures the frog, saying that if he dies, the scorpion will also die by drowning as he cannot swim. The frog agrees to help.... and the scorpion stings him. As they both die, the frog asks why the scorpion did it, and the scorpion responds that it’s simply in his nature. The Scorpion, in this case, is Felix who betrays Benji simply by giving in to his nature. (Note that I don’t really agree with the message behind the fable, but ya know... The Symbolism.)

And then obviously “The Frog” is a reference to Benji who also makes the mistake of trusting his natural enemy and paying for it dearly. (Fun fact but these two chapters where originally one that I split into two to keep the lengths reasonable. And BOY WAS IT A GOOD DECISION. That one week between releases where everyone was LOSING it because they didn’t know whether Felix would let Benji out or not.... was a Good Week)

I think “A New Perspective” was a pretty straightforward title decision. As low key as the chapter itself. I do find it interesting tho that both chapters that start with “A” in the title have to do with Benji getting his world rocked upon learning how other prey view preds

YASSS and then there’s “Lux.” I like this chapter title purely because I don’t think people realized the significance of it when I first posted it. Like it really was like “oh Felix has a cute nickname. That’s fun!” And then several chapters later it’s just “oh okay so Lux really is this whole different side to him huh?” Like this chapter is the absolute true beginning to Lux. Love it.

And for “Lilian” this was a chapter title meant to mirror the previous one. They’re the only two chapters named after a character, they’re back to back, and they both start with an L (although that wasn’t intentional, it just sorta happened lol). This chapter was also originally combined into one chapter with the previous chapter, but again, I broke them up to save on length.

“The Alliance” was simply named for the Pred-Prey Alliance in the chapter, also the driving force for the main conflict (but also note that it’s another chapter title that starts with “the”)

AND THEN we have “The Facility,” the title for which is meant to mirror the one before it because... this is it. These are the two chapters that cement Camille and Felix going down completely opposite paths with Benji stuck right in the middle.

“Homecoming” I think is... a kind uncreative title. But truly not much happens in the chapter itself except that.... Benji comes home

Now for “A Place to Belong” (note how this is the other chapter title that begins with “A”), I think simply titling it “Epomis” was a huge temptation. It’s The Big Reveal and it would sort of mirror the title for chapter 17 “The Facility.” HOWEVER. I thought naming it that would be too much of a spoiler. Especially if a new reader happened to be skimming through the list of chapters. It would give away the significance too soon. And I hate giving spoilers away more than I liked the drama of the title, so I went with “A Place to Belong” instead.

Okay and I’m very much proud of “Golden Boy” because it’s such a small line in the chapter, and the title itself is vague enough that no one would question it until they had more context. And then you get the context and you REALIZE how significant The Golden Boy really is. (Also maybe a little bit cause Lux’s name means “light” and I just like the image of golden light)

“Busy Work” was another one of those uninspired titles for another one or those lowkey Benji chapters. Hmm maybe they should get a category of their own since they keep happening. Anydays. The title mayyy have also been a small reference to the Avatar episode “Bitter Work” in which Toph first (attempts) to teach Aang to earthbend. (Because that show is my favorite ever and I think it inspires my writing a lot in general.)

“The Mission” title is also quite obvious but notice how it’s another “The” title! This is the chapter that marks the beginning of Benji’s path back to Felix/Lux. I’d say that’s pretty important.

Mmmm I love the title for “‘To Live and Give.’” When I first wrote that line a few chapters earlier I was evil smiling to myself about how I was planning to bring it back with a MUCH darker twist. I love it.

“‘All Mouths That Surround You’” aka one of my fave chapters. The perfect intro for the new Lux. This is a reference, of course, to the alt-J song “Every Other Freckle,” which I’ve associated with Lux from the beginning. Now. I realize that some (most) lyric sites list that line as “all baths that surround you.” I think out of context, that line sounds strange, but there IS another line that’s clearly “all showers that shower you” so I guess that would make more sense to include baths as well. But is that as sexy as “mouths”? Absolutely not. So we improvise, overcome, adapt. Moving right along.

“The Reunion,” which I sorta mentioned earlier, is meant to mirror the very first chapter, “The Meeting” and I think that’s beautiful. Like I’m all about taking everything that seemed happy and innocent in the beginning of this story and twisting it so it matches the darker tone of the rest.

“Table Talks” is a little bit of a meh title to me but I do find it entertaining that I think table talks are usually.... not as angsty and full of conflict as Benji and Lux’s is.

“Kleptoparasite” is, as mentioned earlier, a reference to Lux stealing Cecil’s prey. It’s the ~scientific~ term for an animal that acquires its prey by stealing it from other predators. I mostly chose it because I wanted something more clever than “Stolen Prey” (and also I like incorporating Real Life stuff into the story. Like how Epomis is a beetle whose larvae practice predator/prey role-reversal in nature).

And finally there’s “Crumple” which is a callback all the way to chapter 6 “Crush.” This time Camille really IS a crumpled mess. The chapter really hits home with how her and Lux’s relationship has changed over the years. And, of course, it’s just me again doing the classic twist of making things in the early years darker to fit the later years.

Okay! That’s everything up to date so far! I hope this is what you meant when you wanted to “know all” 😂

[illbeyourreasonwhy]

So Much I Think It Must Be...

Chapter 8: Not Straight

“Wait, I don’t understand,” Bowie said, “are you two friends, now, or –”

“Nope.”

“Definitely not.”

Andi’s parents exchanged a look, clearly deciding not to ask.

*

Chapter 8 of my Ambi Enemies to Friends to Lovers fic! You can read it on ao3 here, and find the first chapter here. Hope you like it!

*

Bowie was wearing a confused look on his face when Andi walked into the kitchen the next morning, and Andi quickly realised why. Amber was sipping on a mug, her eyes stuck on the table and looking very out of place.

“Hi?” she said, grabbing a mug of her own.

“Morning,” Bowie answered, nudging her shoulder. “You know I caught this one trying to sneak out this morning?”

“What?” Andi looked over at Amber, feeling inexplicably hurt. “You were just going to leave?”

Amber avoided her gaze. “I didn’t want to intrude,” she mumbled.

“Well, you’re not,” Andi snapped.

“Fine, sorry I bothered,” Amber quipped back.

She met her eyes, and Andi felt herself relax. This was what they did, snapping at each other instead of caring. It was familiar, and in their own way, good. And if the minute smile Amber gave her was anything to go by, she felt the same way.

Bowie looked curiously between the two of them, then cleared his throat. “I actually meant that I didn’t understand why I hadn’t been made aware that Amber was here in the first place.”

“Oh, yeah, that.” Andi grabbed a piece of toast. “She spent the night. It was kind of a last-minute decision.”

Bowie opened his mouth, still looking confused, and was interrupted by Bex stumbling into the kitchen. She went directly to the coffee pot, poured herself a cup, and took a sip, before turning to the rest of the room, looking amazed.

“Who made this coffee?”

“I did,” Amber answered, looking bemused.

Bex set the cup down. “You’re welcome here any time.”

“Mom!”

“You’re the one who let her into our home in the first place,” Bex defended, smiling as Bowie hugged her from behind. “And this is delicious.”

Amber smirked over at Andi, who glared back at her – with less heat than usual, she noticed. Somehow, she was less annoyed than expected about someone in her corner taking a liking to Amber.

“Wait, I don’t understand,” Bowie said, “are you two friends, now, or –”

“Nope.”

“Definitely not.”

Andi’s parents exchanged a look, clearly deciding not to ask.

 *

“I’m just saying, if you ever want to talk…”

“I’ll think about it,” Amber answered evenly. “Thank you, though. Really.” She smoothed out her apron, then looked back up at Andi. “Now get out of here, you’re keeping me from my customers and their tips.”

“Pfft, like you’re a good enough waitress to get tips.”

Amber opened her mouth, caught sight of something behind Andi, and stiffened. “Someone is here to see you.”

Andi turned around, her face breaking into a smile. “Walker!”

“Hey,” he grinned. “Cyrus told me you were getting into an argument with a waitress, and it wasn’t hard to figure out which one.”

Andi glanced back at Cyrus, who was still waiting for her in their booth. He waved a sarcastic hand over at her, and she smiled guiltily. They had been talking as usual when she saw Amber and was reminded of the events of the previous night; she’d gotten up to tell Amber that if she ever wanted to talk about her home problems, she would listen, and now that she thought of it she had left Cyrus alone for a good five minutes.

“Although, that didn’t seem like an argument,” Walker went on. “It looks like your relationship is more complicated than it seems.”

Andi gave him a wry look. “Tell me about it.”

Andi didn’t really know where she and Amber stood. Two weeks ago they hated each other; now, everything was much more complicated. There were moments where Andi despised her still, where every word out of her mouth made her want to snap back at her. But other times, like right now, her heart went out to Amber, where she wanted nothing more than to help her, let her know she was there for her. And other times still, there was a sort of pull she felt towards her. In those moments, fleeting as they may be, she just wanted them to get along. No drama, no fights. Leave all of that behind.

She felt like a yoyo, being pulled up and down over and over without ever staying in one state of mind for long. It was exhausting.

“Anyways,” she said, shaking herself, “do you want to join us?”

“Nah, I gotta run,” Walker smiled, shaking his head as she slid back into her booth, ignoring Cyrus’ raised eyebrow. “I just wanted to ask if you’d be open to working together again, say, on a bigger project.”

Andi felt a thrill of excitement run through her. “What kind of project?”

“Big.”

“Hm. Very mysterious,” Andi smiled. “But sure, that sound great.”

“Cool. I might have something coming up. I’ll keep you updated.”

And with that, he left the Spoon. Andi smiled, and gave Cyrus a confused look when she saw his raised eyebrows.

“What?”

“What’s going on between you and Walker?”

She shrugged. “You heard him. We’re working on a project together.”

“Is that all that is?”

“Yes. I’m not going down that road again.” She gave him a look. “Stop it. Do I psychoanalyse every interaction you have with guys?”

“With TJ you do.”

“Well, that’s because you’re in love with TJ.”

“Not sure what the context here is, but I agree,” Amber said, setting down a milkshake and baby taters in front of Cyrus. “And TJ is in love with you.”

“Thank you,” Andi said, and Amber smiled at her.

Cyrus leaned back against his seat, looking dejected. “When you’re not arguing, you’re ganging up on me. I can never win.”

Amber laughed and started to leave.

“Uh, Amber?” Andi called. “I also ordered a milkshake.”

“Did you? I must have forgotten.”

Andi groaned. “Amber, come on.”

Amber smiled sweetly and went to another table.

“I have no idea whether she is going to bring you one or not.”

“Me neither,” Andi said. The yoyo had swung again; one minute playful, the other back to antagonising each other. She threw her head back in frustration.

 *

“I am bored. Bored. I need you to fill me in on all the juicy gossip.”

Andi laughed, adjusting the phone against her ear. “Buffy, everyone is gone. TJ and Cyrus left with Cyrus’ family this morning. There is no gossip to tell.”

“Well, fill me in on everything that happened, then. You have to give me some type of distraction while my parents are out fishing.”

“I don’t know. We went to a party. That was fun.”

“You hate parties. Well, when you’re not the one throwing them.”

“I don’t hate them, I… Jonah was dancing, okay? That made up for it. And I saw Natalie again. Did you know she was dating Iris?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Well, I found out then.” Andi fumbled with her keys and unlocked the door to Cece’s. No one was home. “And then –”

She faltered, leaning against the couch. She had been about to tell Buffy about meeting Amber on the balcony, but suddenly she found that she couldn’t. The memory about that conversation seemed private, somehow, as if she was meant to be the only one to know about the way Amber had looked at her that night, as if she was seeing her clearly in a way very few ever had.

“And then?” Buffy repeated.

Andi shook her head. “I just realised, I do have news for you. I’m not sure you’ll believe it, though.”

“Now I’m interested.”

“Amber and I are kind of getting along now. Sort of.”

“You’re making that up.”

Andi thought about telling her about the sleepover, about their first honest conversation, about eating breakfast together in the morning, and bit her lip.

“Andi?” Buffy’s voice rang, confused about her silence. “Is everything okay?”

She hummed, her mind going back to that balcony, her own words ringing in her head. How did you know you liked girls?

She thought of noticing girls, of refusing to acknowledge what it meant, of Amber telling her about those same things helping her realise she was a lesbian, of conversations with both TJ and Cyrus, and took a deep breath.

“I think…” She paused, steeling herself. Buffy stayed quiet, and Andi tried to imagine her, waiting for her to say her piece at her own pace. “I might… I could be…” Her hand was shaking, and she forced herself to set it against the couch, the other holding her phone in place. “I might be… not straight.”

There was a silence, only of a few seconds, but to Andi it felt like years. Her heart was hammering in her chest, blood rushing in her ears, and she closed her eyes. It was the first time she had ever said it out loud.

“Really?” Buffy said. “Alright. Well, you don’t need me to tell you that I still love you either way.” Andi let out a shaky breath. She knew Buffy could probably hear it over the phone, but she didn’t comment on it, just kept talking in that same calm and supportive voice. “Do you like someone, or…?”

“No,” Andi answered. Her heart was still beating fast, but she was smiling now, feeling elated. “No, it was just a bunch of little things. I’m not 100% sure yet, though, so could you keep it to yourself for now?”

“Yeah, of course,” Buffy answered. “You got it.”

Andi smiled and leaned back against the couch. “I miss you,” she admitted.

“I miss you too. I can’t wait to get back.”

Andi grinned into the phone. “So, did anything interesting happen in Middle-of-Nowhere-Town?”

Buffy groaned, and Andi let her rant yet again about how boring her vacation was, feeling lighter than she had in weeks.

 *

 Unknown number: There’s a sale on crafts in the shop across the Spoon

 Unknown number: In case you’re interested

Andi looked down at her phone, confused for half a second before she scrolled back up the conversation and realised that the texts were from Amber. She had never saved her number.

She smiled faintly, oddly touched that Amber had thought of her.

 Me: i’ll check it out. thanks

 Unknown number: No problem

Andi considered saving Amber’s number, but eventually decided against it.

It wasn’t like they were friends, after all.

[sunflowerrichie]

my boy

chapter 1: eighth grade

“who’s richie?”

“he’s my boyfriend,” she began, her eyes glazed over and a pleased smile on her face. puppy love; something eddie would never get the chance in having with richie.

summary: ever since they met in eighth grade, richie had been disappearing for weeks (even months) at a time, leaving eddie to think they’re on bad terms; though, that’s not really why richie disappears.

warning(s): language.

author: richie (sunflowerrichie)

note: this book is based off real life events, so if the details are too exact, that’s why. i don’t know how many chapters there will be at the moment due to events after the 7th chapter not happening yet, but i will let you guys know when i’m going to post the next chapter.

word count: 2,076

ao3: x

tagging: @addimagination

“who’s richie?” eddie had asked myra, his doe eyes wide and questioning; he briefly thanked whatever god was out there that the girl could not see him, for she’d read right through him. if eddie could go back in time from where he was now, he would’ve never asked that simple question containing only two words, though he already knew this was another one of her unsuccessful boyfriends. there was a comic book in his hand, one he disregarded the second someone new was mentioned.

myra fixed her hair from where she was lying on the couch, responding quickly. “he’s my boyfriend,” she began, her eyes glazed over and a pleased smile on her face. puppy love; something eddie would never get the chance in having with richie. “he’s tall and lanky... got dark, black hair; i’m surprised you haven't seen him around, eddie.” 

myra had met eddie in sixth grade, easily becoming friends with the hypochondriac. the smaller boy made a habit of wiping her desk down with cleansing wipes before she sat in it, and in return, she gave eddie platonic love. his mom loved her; for she was just as neat as her sweet eddie-bear and she vowed to make sure he’s taking his medication on time. she was much like sonia, actually; except for being a believer in ‘love at first sight’.

this wasn’t the first time she’s been head over heels for someone, nor would it be the last, but eddie was used to it at this point. each time, he’d make himself presentable for her boyfriend, and each time, they’d never show much interest in the asthmatic boy.

eddie hummed, feigning carelessness and turning back to his book. “is he in eighth grade, too?” he had asked, flipping the page over, though his ears were perked up and his eyes were no longer scanning the words printed nicely on the paper.

“yeah,” myra responded, her voice like she was up in the clouds, high on euphoria. she snapped back quickly, glancing down at the boy on the floor and catching his eyes. “you should talk to him; i think you would start to like him,” more than you think, eddie would learn to realize. before he could decline the offer, though, she was speaking again. “he likes david bowie... and what’s that one song you like?” she paused, her eyebrows scrunching together. “uh... something about the rains in africa?”

eddie perked up quickly, his hot chocolate colored eyes twinkling with the white marshmallows sculpted deep inside them. “africa by toto,” he had said, his cheeks growing hot. eddie kaspbrak loved music, he always had; and now that he would potentially have someone to discuss this love with, he was immediately hooked. he found out three years later, though, that it did not work out the way he had planned. he snapped out of his daze, his smile still apparent. “is he coming over?”

the girl grinned from ear to ear, unbelievably delighted that her best friend was keen on meeting her boyfriend. she looked down at her phone then, the screen lighting up and reflecting on her face in a green kind of glow, the color of her lock screen. “he said he’s on his way,” myra started. “he lives just down the street, so he’ll be here in a few minutes.”

the short boy was struck with a sort of fear then, subconsciously fixing his hair. he nodded, biting his lip and trying not to act suspicious (though this was normal for him; he was always afraid new people would think he’s too messy, too uncaring). myra didn’t seem to notice, though, and kept staring at her phone with a smile, typing away at the keys. at this realization, eddie stood up and coughed awkwardly. “i’m gonna go use the bathroom.” once he got an ‘okay’, he started walking.

when he came out of the bathroom after a few deep, calming breaths and a puff of his aspirator just in case, his clothes were freshly lint-rolled and perfect, his hair was combed and neat, and his teeth were nice and brushed. his fanny pack was around his waist, keeping him grounded and secure. he heard talking from the living room and walked into the doorway, his hands cupped at his front.

richie tozier turned to him, a wide grin on his face and his glasses askew. eddie let his eyes drift around the boy, taking in every detail he could in the three seconds he allowed himself to stare. richie had a grey shirt on, a white and navy blue hawaiian shirt draped over it. the fabric was loose on his skinny frame, and eddie noticed three cigarettes extended out of his pocket, making the small boy’s hands start to shake. his pants were black and tight, complimenting his long legs. and to top it all off, he had black and white slip-on vans over his green and purple socks. he didn’t match; but it suited him in a way eddie felt jealous of.

“like whatcha see?” the tall boy asked, making eddie blush in realization that he noticed the staring. before he could respond, myra spoke again, catching the asthmatic off guard. he had forgot she was in the room.

“richie, this is eddie,” she gestured towards him. “eddie, this is richie,” and back towards richie.

the glasses-clad boy grinned even harder, making eddie wonder if his face would split in half with the force of the grin. the smaller boy looked over to myra quickly, her giving him a smile and her eyes saying ‘this is normal, don’t be alarmed’. he stepped forward and stuck out his lanky arm, waiting for the small boy to shake it. he didn’t; he was afraid richie would think his hands were too rough (he forgot to apply lotion). “richie tozier.”

-

one week after richie introduced himself to eddie, the asthmatic was at myra’s house again, same as last weekend. “what did you get for number 6?” the girl asked, flipping her paper over and furrowing her eyebrows. she was across from eddie on her bed, both of them lying on their stomachs and going over their math homework.

“two,” eddie responded easily, writing something down on his paper. he then paused for a while, his hand hovering over his paper as he thought. “what do you want to do tomorrow?” he asked, looking up at her with hope in his eyes. hope that richie would come over again. hope that they’d have another chance to all watch a movie together (he had sat on the ground the whole time, though, trying not to pay attention to the sound of their lips smacking together every once in a while and the bounce of richie’s leg on the carpet). he hadn’t got that close to richie yet, for he’d have to take a puff of his aspirator every time he thought about it; but with richie’s loud mouth and his easy-going attitude, it was slightly easier than he thought.

myra hummed, looking up at him briefly before turning the page in the blue textbook. “i was planning to have richie come over at around ten in the morning,” she spoke, seeming to think them over as they floated out of her mouth. “is that okay?” she blushed slightly, looking back up at eddie.

the small boy nodded, pulling his phone out quickly to set an alarm for nine in the morning. he told himself he’d need time to wake up, but he knew deep down that he really only did that because he wants to look good for the taller boy. “that sounds good,” he smiled, glancing at the time quickly. he stood up then, grabbing his fanny pack and snapping it around his waist again. “be right back, i gotta take my medicine.”

the second it turned nine o’clock the next morning, eddie’s phone was ringing and the sound was echoing through myra’s living room. the small boy groaned and rolled over, shutting off his alarm and rubbing at his eyes. when his mind got a chance to catch up and his first thought was richie, though, he was up and rushing to turn the shower on.

when richie opened the door an hour later, he was grinning and his nose was a different color, the cold, november air outside making his skin blush red.

“spaghetti!” he yelled, immediately taking interest in the asthmatic boy, much to his surprise. “i was hoping you’d be here again!”

eddie blushed deeply, water pooling behind his eyes due to embarrassment. “hi, richie,” he spoke softly, the name unfamiliar on his tongue as he scanned the room for myra (he hoped briefly that he’d get a chance for the name to finally become familiar flowing out of his mouth). “uh, myra will be here in a second, she went to-“

the taller boy cut him off quickly, wrapping his lanky arm around his shoulders. “no worries, short stack,” he started, not coming off offensive but more... fond; as if he’d known eddie since they were in sixth grade, too. “for i, the one and only richie tozier, would not mind hanging out with my favorite eds!” he finished off in a loud, almost ear-ringing, voice, grinning down at eddie, his ocean blue eyes gleaming.

before the brown-eyed boy could respond with a ‘don’t call me that’ and a soft shove, myra was walking through the doorway and richie’s arm was unwrapping itself from his shoulders, leaving him with a heart that had plunged down into his lower stomach. “i see you two have made friends with one another.” friends. all they would ever be.

to that, richie nodded, the grin still on his face. does he ever stop fucking grinning? “we have, haven’t we, spaghetti head?” the words seemed as if they came from another planet, for the sound of blood rushing behind his ears was too loud for the small boy to process what richie was saying.

he excused himself to go use the bathroom then, and when he got there, he realized he might as well have been losing his mind. “keep it together, kaspbrak,” he said to his reflection, swallowing down a lump in his throat. “it’s just richie,” the name was still unfamiliar, “just myra’s new, unsuccessful boyfriend, richie.”

when eddie finally got himself to come out of the bathroom and walk into the living room again, he was stopped dead in his tracks. myra’s pinky was looped around the taller boy’s and words were flowing out of his mouth beautifully.

“-i promise, okay? i’ll always be here for you,” and then he was moving his hand up and extending his thumb to kiss. “i never break a pinky promise.” if only eddie would have known those six words would be repeating through his head painfully for three years afterwards. richie looked like a totally different person when he was serious, eddie then realized. he felt anxiety creep up his body with the question ‘i wonder if i’ll ever be in myra’s spot’. he knew he’d probably have an asthma attack due to richie’s eyes alone.

-

“me and richie broke up,” is what eddie heard five days later coming through his cell phone speaker, the owner’s voice broken and rough. “i-i didn’t-”

“wait, wait, what happened?” the brown-eyed boy asked, more curious than sympathetic.

“he pinky promised me!” she wailed, ignoring his question and making eddie move the phone an inch or two from his ear. “he said he never breaks pinky promises, and he did!”

-

eddie stopped talking to myra after that. not because of any particular reason, but just simply because of the fact that whenever he looked at her, all he could think about was richie’s arm around him and richie’s pinky promise and richie’s beautiful, blue eyes. the two boys never swapped numbers, so eddie had to spend the rest of eighth grade wondering if richie was ever really his ‘friend’, or if he was only taking interest in the hypochondriac because of myra.

what he didn’t realize until three months later, though, was that richie actually never did break his pinky promise. he was still there for myra if she needed him, but eddie guesses he lost interest in being something more than acquaintances. richie was good with his words and eddie was destined to be wrapped around his finger sooner or later.

[mitchmarnier]

BLOOD IN THE WATER

summary: “I think we’re all going to have do some pretty terrible things,” Eddie said quietly. His hand came to wrap in Richie’s shirt, trying to burn out the violent grip of his father’s from earlier. “None of us have a choice in anything anymore. Whatever happened at Greta’s tonight-“ Eddie’s voice broke and he felt Richie press a kiss into his hair. “There isn’t a good and a bad anymore. There’s just die or don’t.”

[or: after the gruesome murder of his younger brother, Bill Denbrough is determined to bring about the end of the string of crimes in Derry no matter the cost. As stories unwind and fall apart, there’s only more questions as everybody’s lives hang in the balance.]

chapter count: 12/21

chapter warnings: mentions of past character death, vague notions of rape

Taglist: @honkhonkrichard @hufflepuffkaspbrak @emmieliabedelia @reddie-for-anything @wowdidiask @reddiesetrichie @beepbeepbitchard@lemonadeandrice @mirandonsky @vanilluna @mqlvaa @fivxharmony

[Prologue] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [Read Full Story on AO3] [Playlist]

To say it had been a tense week for the town of Derry would have been a understatement. Despite how obvious it was that people been talking, everything seemed to have been brought down the whole town. Zachary Denbrough had very quickly bailed his son out of jail the night of Greta’s party, bringing him his slight freedom under house arrest until a trial could be set up. Sheriff Bowers had chosen not to post bail for his son, likely to avoid public outcry, and nobody had seen Eddie Kaspbrak or Richie Tozier since they’d left Greta’s party that night. There were rumours that couldn’t be traced back to a source that they were shacking up in Frank Kaspbrak’s apartment, but it likely just a story set out to put Sonia Kaspbrak’s neurotic tendencies at ease as much as possible about her missing child.

Ben Hanscom had kept his head down as much as possible this past week, ignoring all texts and messages from Aurora and Mike. They had texted him about their trip to Shawshank, claiming they’d found out something important. Ben always stopped reading before the texts could reveal what the information was. He knew that the reporter instincts in his blood would force him to drive forward with whatever Mike and Aurora had found, and his survival instincts couldn’t let that happen.

So, things hadn’t calmed down in Derry, they had halted to a stand still with all citizens afraid to move in any direction. This was more than just murders now, Janie Tozier had been kidnapped and held captive for over seven months according to the whispers. The number of kids that would be in years Derry High graduating class was getting lower and lower as the weeks went by, conservative north side parents even considering pulling their children from school altogether. It seemed to mean little to everyone that Henry Bowers was behind bars, liking to be charged on all the counts of murder. Henry opening fire at Gre,ta’s party was a barely acknowledge blimp on everybody’s minds, nobody slowing to think that Henry was smart enough to have pulled off the crimes of the decade. Greta Bowie and Audra Phillips’ murders were a terrible tragedy, a mere coincidence, a sadness for the whole community. If anything was truly remembered about that night it was Bill Denbrough, a scuffle for the gun and Victor Criss hitting the floor.

Ben once loved fifth period English Lit, but now it felt like a cursed place to be. All he could think about was the feeling of Mike Hanlon staring into the back of the head, or how Beverly Marsh’s presence seemed to fill the whole room from her seat in the back corner. They’d started a new book just the week before, but Ben hadn’t even opened the cover outside of pretending to read along in class. There was a sick feeling of apprehension in his stomach that he couldn’t trace back to a source, it could be that he’d thought he’d seen Richie Tozier’s messy mop of hair in the halls that morning or could simply be a new intense development in the anxiety he’d already been feeling constantly since the night of Greta’s party.

The classroom door bounced open, Sheriff Bowers marching in with a deep smirk and unsure looking deputy by his side. “Mr Campbell, I need to borrow one of your students for questioning.”

Before Mr Campbell could so much as open his mouth, Beverly Marsh was pushing her seat out from behind the desk and standing. Every eye in the classroom was drawn to her as she took one deep breath and her shoulders shook. “It’s okay, everybody knows anyway. You’re here for me.”

Beverly pressed her wrists together and held them outwards. A very hushed whisper rang through the room of students as Bowers grin came to burn twelve volts higher and brighter than anybody had ever seen.

“Well, hey now, Miss Marsh,” the deputy twanged awkwardly. “We don’t be needing to do that, we can just…”

“No.” Beverly said seriously. “It’s okay. I’m guilty.”

As Bowers lead Beverly out in handcuffs that she knew from experience were too tightly bound, her eyes trailed through the mostly empty halls until they fell onto Eddie and Richie. Her stomach coiled at the sight of them.

Richie’s curls were greasy and matted to his eyes, the skin under his eyes purple and swelling with exhaustion. He was wearing clothes that had to have been a size, if not two, too large and no Devil jacket in sight. His face was sheet white, and Eddie didn’t look up much. His clothes were rumbled and his usually perfectly styled hair was flat against his forehead.

Richie was up against the lockers, with Eddie crouched in front of him with his hands resting on Richie’s knees. They’d been resting with their faces close together, but the disruption of Beverly being lead into the halls had them both scrambling to their feet.

“Don’t worry about it,” Beverly was telling Richie the moment he began to move towards her. She’d only seen that sort of look in Richie Toziers’ eyes a handful of times. “Seriously, Rich, it’s not-“

The sound of another door opening, followed by a unsteady foot steps and grunting, caught the eye of every other person standing in the hall. A struggling Stanley Uris was yanked out of his second period math class, and Beverly felt her stomach drop into the bottoms of her feet. Bowers immediately shoved at Beverly to move her out of the school. “Richie, call your mom!” Beverly called over her shoulder. “Call Maggie!”

Richie watched his friends get hauled from the building, mouth gaping and Eddie’s hand heavy in his own.

-

“How many times do I have to teach you this lesson old man?” Beverly rolled her eyes, leaning back in the chair at the interrogation table. “You can’t question me without my parents here. I know my rights.”

“Good thing your parents are dead, then, isn’t it?” Bowers replied, sipping lightly at his bottle of coke. He was the picture of confidence, feet up on the table and chair resting on two legs.

“It is,” Beverly replied cheerly. “Because that means you have to wait for Went or Maggie. Isn’t that just perfect?”

“Or I could just shackle you down with some shitty ass defense attorney.” Bowers countered, grinning at her. “Nothin’ would make me happier.”

“I didn’t ask for a lawyer,” Beverly twiddled her thumbs with her cuffed hands. “I asked for my guardians. Are you going to deny a minor her request to see her legal guardians?”

Bowers dropped his feet down to the floor and leaned towards Bev on his elbows. “You think they’re going to want to help you, Marsh? After what I’ve brought you in here for? Killing their precious little girl?”

“I didn’t kill Janie,” Beverly said with an eyeroll.

“And yet you told me you were guilty,” Bowers replied with a smirk and an eyeroll. He leaned forward on the table, his and Bev faces now so close if either shifted even slightly their noses would brush. Bev raised her brow. “Why confess if you stand by being innocent?”

“I am guilty- guilty of killing my father,” Beverly said. “That’s the crime you’ve wanted to get me with this whole time, isn’t it? That’s what you wanted to hear? That I hit him over the head with the back of the toilet and he died? That you were right this whole time?”

Bowers’ eyes danced and he licked at his bottom lip. “I’m going to get you on a lot more than some six year old murder charge, Marsh. We know that Janie was being held in the old house on Neibolt, we’ve got your and Uris’ foot prints all through the backyard. You were there the night she died, your DNA is all over the place in that house. You’re still going to look me in the eye and say you had nothing to do with her murder?”

Beverly steeled herself, staring the sheriff down despite her pounding heart. “You’ve got my DNA in the house I spent the first eleven years of my life living in? I’m sure that’s really gonna stand up in court.”

“No jury is going to let you walk away twice, Marsh.” Bowers growled. “You already got your miracle.”

“They will if your evidence is as weak as it was last time,” Beverly scoffed. “I have no proof but I know in my gut that she did it, is not really beyond a shadow of a doubt, Sheriff.”

“I was right, wasn’t I?” Bowers grinned. “You just told me I was. And I’m right about this.” Beverly narrowed her eyes, saying nothing. “I’m not sure about Uris though, he’s been a thorn in my side since he was knee high but he doesn’t really shake me as the murder’s accomplice type.”

Beverly scoffed and shook her head, tapping her fingers against the metal table. Before Beverly had the chance to form a response- whether in defense or damnation of Stanley Uris, she hadn’t decided yet- when the door to the interrogation room smashed open.

Maggie Tozier took only two strides through the room before she stood above Sheriff Bowers at the table. Her hair fell perfectly to her shoulders, not a single strand out of place and her Devils jacket looked as though it were custom made to fit her body. Her son stood behind her, loitering in the door way and looking like the perfect picture of her opposite. His hair was still flat and frazed, his posture stiff and fidgeting with his jacket as though he were thirty seconds away from ripping it off and tossing it away. Beverly hadn’t seen Richie Tozier looking so uncomfortable in his own skin since the night Janie went missing, and Wentworth showed him it was time to begin his true life.  

“Interviewing minors without their guardians present again, Oscar?” Maggie said, voice high and angelic. “Just because your son is currently sitting in lock up doesn’t mean you have free range with everybody elses’ children.”

“His son is on his way to the Shawshank,” Richie said, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed cockily. “And we all know what happens to crazy bastards up in the Shank. I give ‘em six months. Tops.”

“My son is no Robert Gray, Tozier.” Bowers growled, all attention moved from dragging damaging information out of Beverly to the two Toziers standing in front of him.

“You’re so sure about that?” Richie challenged, the look of dancing chaos returning to his face. “Personally? I’m not, he’s always been one unhinged mother fuck-“

“Enough.” Maggie cut across her son with distaste. “You have nothing to hold these children on, and you know it. Footprints? Potentially old DNA? You’ve botched your investigation by jumping the gun like you always do.”

“I’ve got her confessing to one murder already and I-“

Maggie leaned forward, resting a hand on the table and pushing her face towards Bowers. “You have nothing. Nothing Beverly has told you will stand up anywhere, because I will make damn sure everybody knows you dragged it out a minor without a lawyer or a guardian present.”

“Not that it matters,” Richie pitched in, looking tired and drained once again. “What, Bev told you that she killed her dad? You already tried her on that shit, you can’t do it again. Fucking double jeopardy, bitch.” Maggie and Bowers both turned to stare at Richie, Bowers in shock and Maggie looking proud of her son for what might have been the first time in the years that Beverly had known them. Richie shrugged slightly. 'What? I know things.”

Maggie turned back to Bowers, almost grinning. “I think it is in your best interest right now to uncuff my goddaughter and conduct an actual, legal investigation of my daughter’s murder.”

Bowers wasted little time uncuffing Beverly, who slinked behind the two Toziers as they emerged from the room. Eddie Kaspbrak was sitting beside an angry looking Stanley Uris in the waiting area and immediately jumped to his feet at the sight of Richie. Richie, looking ready to pass out on his own two feet, held out an arm as Eddie collided with his side. Startled, Beverly turned to look at Stanley but found her best friend stubbornly avoiding her eye.

“Out the back,” Maggie said, paying no attention her son or the boy he was clinging to. “We have people waiting on us.”

Exhaling hard, Beverly followed the group out of the station with her eyes glued on the her feet. Richie was standing beside her, but there was distance there that had never been before. Not just a physical one, though that was well, but an emotional one. A spiritual one. As though their souls had once been touching, and she could no longer feel his.

Wentworth Tozier was standing just outside the back exit with Patty Blum and Patrick Hockstetter. Beverly’s stomach churned at the sight of the last standing member of Herny Bowers’ gang, gut still unsure how he managed to walk away from the party at Greta’s house with his future and reputation still intact. They all stood tall and proud in their slick jackets, but Patty quickly moved from Wentworth’s side to speak quietly to Stanley.

Eddie and Richie stood with their arms still tight around one another, both looking at Wentworth with very levels of fear and mistrust. “Uris. Marsh. Care to explain yourselves?”

Beverly sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. “I went back to get photos my father had taken of me. When he was… you know, and I… I burned them, I just didn’t want them to link me to anything. Stan went with me because I asked him to, he has nothing to do with any of this.”

“Why was it suddenly so important that you get rid of them?” Patty asked. She stood so close to Stan that their hands were brushing. “What needed to be covered up that didn’t matter before? You have to admit, it’s kind of fucked up, Bev.”

“I know,” Beverly said softly. “I can’t explain it any better than I just did. I just… had a feeling that I needed to get those photos or it would be bad. I didn’t… I didn’t have anything to do with Janie’s death.”

“I wish we could believe that, Beverly, but Derry coincidences just don’t exist.” Maggie said, fiddling with her switchblade as Beverly’s heart rate skyrocketed. “Of course, we couldn’t leave this in the hands of Bowers’, he’s been overexcited and quick to run out of steam since high school. We Devils take care of our own problems, always have.”

Beverly looked around at her friends, only find Stan and Patty jerked their eyes away the moment contact was made. Patrick leaning against the brick wall and grinning at her. Eddie looking up at her from under Richie’s arm with what might have been a sympathetic look, but Richie just looking right through her as though she were some simple stranger he’d never met before.

“I think you know how this works, Beverly.” Wentworth gestured towards the black SUV sitting in the parking lot. Beverly whimpered and stepped backwards, just to collide with Patrick who held her still. Stan and Patty were already walking past her towards the vehicle, while Richie had leaned to whisper in Eddie’s ear.

Maggie turned to her son, her last living child, as Beverly felt herself started to be guided away. “You coming with us, Richard?” Richie shook his head, arm tightening around Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie squeezed at Richie’s shoulder and Beverly couldn’t help but frown in confusion.

Maggie sighed. “Very well, but you know you must be there. There are rules and we cannot make a final decision without you. We’ll be starting in forty five minutes, get your personal feelings under control before then. This is no time for your childish whims. It’s time for you to step up and be the leader you were born to be.”

[parkpavilion]

Goodbye to All That

The following post was first published on Message in a Bottle, the Island Books blog, and on NW Book Lovers, the Pacific Northwest Booksellers Association blog, at the tail end of a very trying year. It’s being revisited now at the tail end of another, by way of celebrating the paperback release of Brian Doyle’s One Long River of Song.

--------------------------------------

2016 wasn’t quite two weeks old when I first heard that it was cursed. On top of the usual bad news (Sharaban tea shop, bombing) came the announcement of David Bowie’s death, and something about it, hard on the heels of his most acclaimed record in years, songs that were released on his birthday, seemed especially shocking and unjust. Public celebration of the music quickly turned into lamentation for the man, inverting Hamlet’s sardonic lines about how “the funeral bak’d meats / Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.”

Given Bowie’s lifelong example of ironic detachment, it felt right to make black jokes about a curse, but as the months went by more and more celebrities died (Alan Rickman, Harper Lee, Prince, Muhammad Ali, to name a few) and so did a crowd of dancers in an Orlando nightclub, and the talk of curses started sounding serious. It became a commonplace that 2016 was the Worst Year Ever.

Not being a superstitious sort, I chalked this up to normal variation. The year may have brewed up an atypical amount of trouble, but there were also some high spots. Scientists identified the gene responsible for ALS and the Cubs came from behind to break a century-long string of bad luck. Things could have been worse.

But then came a one-two punch–well, more like a chin tap and a train collision. Within a couple of days in early November, Daylight Saving Time came to and end and so did my faith in democracy. It started getting dark earlier and, after the election, it seemed like it was going to stay that way for the foreseeable future. I fell deeply into what used to be called a “brown study” and couldn’t see the point in getting out of bed, let alone reading a book. No matter what I did, I couldn’t dispel the fog of depression. For almost two weeks I had no answers, and then it came to me to ask a question instead: “What would Brian Doyle do?”

Yes, the Northwest’s own Brian Doyle, author of beloved fictional classics including Mink River and Martin Marten. Ever since I first fell in love with his work he’s been a touchstone for me, and I like to imagine that we have a lot in common. We are both bespectacled, bearded men in our middle years; both of us have the creaky knees that result from too many hours of basketball and the quirky minds that result from too many years of Catholic education. Brian has written often about his lovely bride, Mary, a woman of Belgian extraction he describes as “no bigger than a heron;” my own remarkable spouse grew up outside of Brussels and has to stand on a chair to look a heron in the eye. Brian enjoys writing wise, witty, and lyrical books that make any subject important and interesting; I enjoy reading wise, witty, and lyrical books that make any subject important and interesting.

We differ, though, in respect to temperament. As he put it when I had the privilege of interviewing him earlier this year (another 2016 highlight):

“My sister the smiling Buddhist nun says I am congenitally optimistic, as the well-balanced middle child in a large family, but I think it’s more that I just cannot repress the constant stream of amazing examples and chapters of grace and humor and courage and tenderness and humility I see every blessed day. Fact. It’s all there if you look hard enough. I am not always stupid, and I get it that grief and pain and loss and evil are everywhere and daily fare, and people I love are hammered and have died, and I am terrified of fouling the nest so badly that kids can’t live in it, and I am enraged at murderous thugs and bloviating buffoons, but still, man, look at the armies of light pitted against it all! Isn’t that astounding?”

As for me, a quote from Leonard Cohen (another casualty of 2016) will suffice: “I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain. And I feel completely soaked to the skin.” Like him, “I’ve always been free from hope.” That mindset carries me over most crises, but not this one. In this case I needed the boost that only Brian Doyle could provide. This is the man, after all, who made a legendary impromptu speech that brought tears and then laughter to a room full of booksellers in the wake of a terrible shooting in Roseburg, Oregon. This is the man who recently published something called The Kind of Brave You Wanted to Be: Prose Prayers and Cheerful Chants Against the Dark. It’s like he went back in time to write what I needed before I knew I needed it. I decided that not only would I go back to his books and read my way into the light, I’d do what he’s always telling us we have to do, share our stories. I’d write up that true tall tale of the time I was in my twenties and I beat that giant Viking guy one-on-one on a gravelly court with a rusty backboard and a bent rim and I’d send it to him and tell him what he meant to me.

And then the next day I learned that Brian Doyle has brain cancer.

Oh, if I could kick you in the teeth, 2016, I would. But I haven’t got the time. I have to Kübler-Ross my way through this and get my head on straight. I have to think of Brian’s family and friends and colleagues and students and readers and all the pain and sadness they feel. I have to figure out what to do next, because there’s a lot for everyone to do.

The doctors can take the lead. Even though they “can’t delete it or fix it or cure it,” they can treat it, and they are. Brian’s already had surgery that removed almost all of his tumor, and is beginning a course of radiation and chemotherapy that will, with fingers crossed, give him “a few more years of reading and writing and being with [his] wife and kids.” There’s a fundraiser online to assist them with medical and therapeutic costs, which will undoubtedly be vast. For an example of what they’ll be dealing with, one side effect of this kind of brain surgery, hopefully a temporary one, is homonymous hemianopsia, the loss of half the field of vision on the same side in both eyes. Particularly cruel of 2016 to force a writer to look at things from only one side, don’t you think?

Those of us further from the center can contribute, of course, and we can spread the word about the help that’s needed. And we can do what we’ve always done, support his work. Out now is his collection of short-short fiction, The Mighty Currawongs, which contains “This Is the Part Where You Say Something Real,” maybe the best story of a marriage that it’s possible to tell in three pages. Read it. In the spring will come another novel, The Adventures of John Carson in Several Quarters of the World. Put it on your wish list.

We can also give to each other what Mary Doyle is thankful that her friends have given to her. Give “your tears your hope your compassion your warmth your wit your generosity your respect your creativity your friendship your tenderness your humor your searching your reading your writing your cooking your dog walking your baking your mailing your typing your stamping your donating your sitting your roof cleaning your Christmas lighting your carpentry your hands held together in prayer.” Give the benefit of the doubt to the good who deserve it and no quarter to the evil who don’t.

We can put 2016 behind us and think about what’s ahead. We’ve got 2017, all of it we need, however long it lasts. As a great philosopher once said, “We’re only here for a minute, we’re here for a little window, and to use that time to catch and share shards of light and laughter and grace seems to me the great story. And I love that work.”

More Life. The Great Work Begins.

--James

[constelacionde-orion]

Every you Every me (7/15)

Pairing : Tony!Father x Reader!Daughter x Steve x Avengers

Warnings: swearing, angst, memories, death Summary: You are Tony’s daughter, everything was normal until you recall your past in your nightmares.

A/N : Steve’s point of view

Word Count: 3190

Chapter 1   Chapter 2.1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6   Chapter 8  Chapter 9 Chapter 10  Chapter 11 Chapter 12  Chapter 13   Chapter 14

MEMORY 1

"Well I guess that's the last song on the radio" the grown up woman said with a sigh when she turned off the radio.

She looked at her right when no one answered then she looked at the highway again, she couldn't lose concentration, it was dark and raining in the highway and she was tired of driving.

"Y/N I know you're angry, but at least talk to me. We have hours in the car and I haven't heard a word from you, you didn't sang you favorite ones..." the woman with brown chocolate hair said with sadness and low voice.

Y/N had her head against the window, her eyes followed the paths of the raindrops. She let out a hot breath to the window and she start drawing some stars and sad faces when she saw a lake.  

"Y/N, please" the woman said again.

"It's not fair" the little kid said under her breath

"What?" the mother said trying to guess what her daughter said.

"It's not fair! Why we had to leave when my birthday's coming?! I wanted to have a party with my friends but I'm in this car" the 5 year old girl said with frustration.

"Y/N I know, but it will be a surprise, I promise-" the mother began when the kid cut her.

"He doesn't even know me!" she shouted.

"Don't raise your voice to me Y/N!" The woman said, her hands squeezing the steering wheel with anger.

The girl looked at her mother with a mix of fear and sadness before returning to place her head in the window, she looked at the lake to distract herself.

"Y/N I'm sorry. But, how you know we're going to see him? Did Nana told you?" the mother asked confused.

"She told me that he didn't know me, so I shouldn't be rude with him" the girl said in a low voice.

"He's a good man Y/N, he's going to love you" she said with a soft voice while her daughter puts a CD on the stereo.

The music began. Life on Mars of David Bowie was the only sound in the car, until the daughter spoked.

"If he’s really a good man, then why are we two alone?" the girl said with anger on her voice.

"Y/N stop that!" the mother said with full anger in her voice while she stopped the car aggressively , and now the kid was afraid of her mother.

"We are going to see your father you like it or not! and put on your goddamn seat belt!" the mother said still angry.

The girl put on her seat belt in a blink, her mother looked at her when she heard her quiet sobs, she was going to say something to comfort her when something hit them from behind. Both of them screamed, the mother looked at her daughter and was going to ask if she was okay when again, the car behind hit them with force.

The car was spinning in the highway, both of them were screaming until the car stopped. The little girl was scared covering her head with both hands while tears were running down her face.

"Y/N are you okay?" the mother asked.

"Yes, I'm okay" the daughter said with sobs. She looked at her mother and she saw another car coming to them, fast as a bolt.

She didn't had the time to tell her mother when the car crashed against them. The car fell into the lake and the mother fainted. 

"Mom! Wake up! Mom!" the kid said while shaking her, she was crying hard, and the mother suddenly opened her eyes.

The car was sinking in the water. The mother saw everything with horror, the high level of the water and her seat belt was stuck, she was worrying but her daughter voice made her looked at her, she was scared too and it took everything inside the mother to keep her child safe.

"Y/N look at me" the mother said trying to keep her voice calm.

The kid was screaming and crying and the mother called her again. The child looked at her with fear.

"You'll get out by the sunroof and you'll run into the woods, don't stop" the mother said trying to hide her tears.

"Mom?" the child knew that look on her mothers eyes, so she was more scared.

"Do what I say Y/N, I'll be with you in a minute, go." the mother said once again trying to stay calm.

The kid took off her seat belt and went out by the sunroof like her mother said, she looked down at her mother.

"Mom, come, take my hand" the kid said with tears.

"Y/N I'm okay, just go" the mother said now with tears in her eyes.

"Mom-" "Go Y/N! Go!" The mother shouted and the child swam to the shore with more fear.

When she was in land she looked at the car, it was sinking deeper and deeper and her mother wasn't out, she was going to scream for her mother when she heard gunshots. 

She wasn't any fool, she knew that that sound didn't bring anything good with, so she ran and ran into the forest, the damp orange leaves echoed when she stepped on them. She looked every single spot when she heard footsteps and someone yelling behind her, but when she turned around she saw no one, she kept running when she saw people dressed in black in the distance, and once again she felt something on her shoulder but this time she didn’t turn around, she didn’t want to see those mens again. 

She saw the highway, she thought it will be an escape for her, someone out there could help her and then she screamed and fell into the ground when something hit her leg, it felt horrible, but her willing to survive make her get up, she looked down and she saw in horror her bleeding leg, her sock and shoe were red, and blood was running all the way down of her leg and it didn’t stop,  she look forward and there were, many man dressed in black in a big red octopus on their chest.

She tries to run again, but something hits the back of her head, making her fall again into the ground, she's crying, she wants to escape but darkness is taking her, until she can't get up again.

Tony swallows his tears, he tries to speak but he doesn't know where to start. His looking at the picture in front of him, Y/N in both ways, the sweet girl we all know vs the mysterious one. It's hard for everyone to believe that they're the same, but it's true, something happened to her and it's time to know the truth.

In the screen appears some newspapers with news from Y/N, when she was a little kid. The photographs are from her, being little, like the age of 5 or 6, she's missing a front tooth and her hair is tied in two pony tails. The other woman beside her is smiling, with brown chocolate hair and shining eyes, like hers, and everyone knew, she was her mother, they were totally alike. My heart aches just to see that photograph, what could have happened to them?

"October 1 first, 2002. Y/N and Maria, her mother, leaves their home on the evening, but they never arrived to their destiny. Her grandmother, the only one that knows where they're supposed to be, dies from a sudden cardiac arrest when the police finds the car in a lake. A week later they are presumed missing, and a month later they suspend investigation." Tony said with sadness in his voice, he looks at the photograph and he closes his eyes.

Another image appears on the big screen, it's a report from Hydra’s mission with some photographs, the highway, the car and both of them. Tony amplified the report for us to read.

“October 1, 2002. 

Objectives have been captured at 4:00 am. The capture mode consisted in pushing the car to a lake, where only the older woman was found trying to escape by the sunroof, while the daughter was missing. A team was ordered to force the mother out while a team looked for the girl inside the forest. 

Result: The mother has her left leg broken, a bullet wound in the right arm, a brain contusion and scrapes. The child presents a bullet wound in the left calf with scrapes and cuts due to the glasses. Both were slept during the entire journey to the base of Germany #28. The child awakens at 9 hours and is introduced to the interrogation session. The mother awakens at 12 hours due to the brain contusion and is entered to the same session.

Result: Both deny the facts by which drastic measures are taken. High commanders recommend applying the 'Lazarus' project in the child, arguing that it is better, she could heal faster, and be more manipulative than the mother.

Result: The child begins the process of 'Lazarus' directed by Dr. Schneider at 13:00 hours. The child of 5 years old dies at 13:38 pm. Vital signs are obtained at 14:26 p.m.

Result: The child acquires the modified mutant gene from Erik Lehnsherr presents discoloration of the eyes by the fusion with her own genes, there is no other anomaly.

At 16:00 hours the minor is under the charge of Alexander Günther..."

I couldn't bring myself to keep on reading what happened to her, I just couldn't read how much they've tortured her or her mother.

"Tony just, go to the main point, please" I said with a knot on my throat.

"Fine" Tony said with a quiet voice.

"After what you read they named her Lilian Günther, they changed her old files until Y/N was practically dead. They separated her from her mother for years, she went to different bases in Sweden, Finland, Romania, Belgium, France, etc. They teached her how to use her powers and the basic knowledge, like school. She wasn't alone..." Tony said again, and 23 pictures from children appeared on the screen.

"All of these kids were mostly orphans, or nobody would look for them, all of them passed the 'Lazarus' project with success acquiring different mutations..." Tony said showing us the pictures of different childs using their powers.

"But Y/N wasn't orphan, and the report said they denied the facts, what facts?" Natasha asked confused.

Everyone looked at Tony, why was Y/N there?, something didn't have sense why would they want them?

"Let me finish Nat" Tony said without hesitation, and there we knew, something was terrible wrong.

"Each of them had a 'coach', so they trained them as assassins, high skilled in different subjects. Sniper, armed combat, close combat, and more. They also teached them languages, and abilities to go in undercover. They were perfect assassins. So Lazarus was not only to bring back from dead the children's, but Hydra too" Tony said with a sigh.

My eyes looked at everyone on the room, Wanda couldn't believe it, she was broken in all the sense of the word, she had a mouth on her mouth and she was trying not to cry. Thor was lost in the pictures, his mouth was open and he had a big frown, his hands were balled into fists, he was angry to know what they done to her. Vision was speechless too, he was trying to understand everything. 

"The reason why Y/N doesn't remember anything it's because... because when she finished her trainment, they sent her to Ukraine to start some field missions and in that same base, was her mother. Short story is, she tried to escaped with her mother but everything went wrong, she was going to succeed when Hydra shot her mother and she died in her arms..." Tony said, his eyes looking at the window behind us.

Again my eyes looked at the team, this time Natasha, she was a great mix of anger and hurt. She wanted to go and kill everyone, you could easily saw that in her eyes, you could even hear her heart running wild and she was hurted, a tear came out from her eyes, it ran down her cheek until it fell to the ground when it arrived her chin.

"After that, Y/N was pissed, she tried to kill every single Hydra agent of the base, but they slept her with darts, she woke up in the same chair as Bucky, seconds after, they erased her memory..." Tony tooked a big breath before continuing.

Bucky was next on my sight, and when he heard what happened to her everyone heard the sound of his arm shifting, the deep frown on his face and his clenched jaw.

"It wasn't the last time. On field she remembered things, names, faces; she tried to hide it sometimes, but they noticed it, so she was back again in the chair, over and over again, until she hardly speak." Tony said, his eyes never finding us. 

Clint's head was lost on his hands, his fingers pulled strands of his hair, his knuckles were white. I wondered if he was listening to all the story as if Y/N was one of his daughters. T'challa in other hand was hard to read, I couldn't understand what he was thinking, I don't know if he was even listening, but the deep stare into the floor told me that he cared about her and he didn't want to see her suffering.

"How many years she was there, in Hydra?" Sam asked, his eyes were puffy and he had clearly a knot on his throat.

"Fourteen years Sam, fourteen fucking years" Tony answered with hurt in his voice.

"You went for her when you sent me to Wakanda?" Vision asked.

Tony just nodded his head with his eyes closed.

"Why she was on a cell?" Clint asked with anger in his voice.

"She refused to kill her 'friends' " Tony said again with a stern voice.

"What?!" Clint asked again confused.

"I don't know exactly what happened, I couldn't bring myself to keep reading her files, but they made her and another one to kill the rest, and she refused" Tony answered again with same rage on his voice.

"Why she?" Natasha asked with confusion and sadness.

"Because, she's my daughter. They found out way more faster than me, so they wanted control on everything, but she didn't knew me, that's why they kept her mother, they used her to manipulated Y/N and to know more things about me, but she didn't gave them anything..." Tony said.

Everyone was speechless, no one could swallow Y/N's story. She was nothing compared with their past and for sure, all of that broke our hearts. I was hurted, just to know all the things she went through, I couldn't imagine how she'll react when she knew the truth... the truth.

"How are you going to tell her?" I asked in a quiet voice.

"I will not" Tony said quickly.

"What?!" Everyone said in one voice, even Bucky, T'challa, Sam, Clint and me stood up.

"I will not tell her! I will not tell her all about this!" Tony said with anger in his voice.

"It's her past and she deserves to know Tony!" I yelled to him with anger.

"Tony! She will discover some day, stop hiding this from her!" Wanda said with anger too.

"What if she doesn't survive? she will die thinking that her mother never loved her and worst she will never know the truth Tony!" Natasha said.

"You better tell him Stark, shes your daughter for God sake! We'll not touch her because as you said, it's our Y/N not our enemy" Sam said with anger.

"One thing I'll tell you Stark if you don't tell her, we will, that's a fact" I told him seriousness.

"She's my daughter Rogers, remember that! And If I told her what will I be to her? She will hate me, she will runaway from me, she's my family and I don't want her to leave! " Tony yelled again.

"She's your daughter Tony! You are the only one of her family too. She will not leave, she loves you but man, if that happened to my childs, I'll for sure told them" Clint said with sadness.

"She was with fucking HYDRA! the thing we fight against, where she came from, where I found her, and when she knows all of this... what if she remember all what hydra show her, huh? what if she turns into Lilian?! Will you fight her? will you kill her?!" Tony yelled with anger.

"Tony you are unbelievable. Of all the selfish, stupid things to do...I don't know why I bother with you sometimes" I said with my hands balled in fists.  

"She's my daughter Steve! He have been together three years! And knowing I could have been there for her breaks me, and for sure will break here too! Knowing her mother died in her arms, what Hydra made her, what she've done, she will break..." Tony said once more, he was angry and sad, but he didn't want to open his eyes.

"And you hide her truth for three years Stark. She doesn't remember anything, she doesn't know how her mother looks, where she come from, anything about her childhood, she doesn't remember anything..." T'challa said with a low voice.

"The more you hide it, she will turn in someone like Loki, Stark. We know Y/N, you have told her yourself, she's strong, she will be alright" Thor said.

There was a long silence and I snorted, I couldn't believe Tony right down.

"It's Y/N we are talking about Stark, not just some Hydra agent, she's your daughter, our friend my girlfriend and if you don't have the guts to tell her, I will." I said angry.

"Don't you dare to tell her Rogers or I swear-" Tony begun but then Bruce appeared on the room.

"Hey, we saved Y/N from now " Bruce said concerned, and then he looked at everyone of us, and know he was confused too.

"from now, what do you mean?!, She's awake?!" I asked him, walking towards him.

"No, no. She's-" Bruce had a big struggle trying to talk.

"Spit out Bruce, she's awake or not?" Tony said, still angry with everyone.

"She's healing faster than normal people, she actually should be dead, it may be of the mutant genes..." Bruce said trying to find the right words.

"She's awake or not Bruce?" Tony said walking towards him.

"Tony. She's, she's in a coma, but still she's in risk Tony, she died four times in a row, I thought she wouldn't make it, but, she's alive, for now" Bruce said with a sadness.

"She's what?" Tony asked again, of course he knew what Bruce said but he didn't believe it.

"She's in comatose state, Tony" Bruce said.

I felt numb, lost, I didn't know how to feel about, she was alive, but not completely. She died four times, and so she was still grabbing hands with Death.

[sanguine-fairy]

Your Lightning in January Chapter Three

A/N: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! Here is chapter three! You can read chapter two here. I’d like to give a big shoutout to @miss-zei for helping me write this and for the constant encouragement. You’re the best. I hope you guys enjoy this. Chapter four will not take as long as this one did xD

Things were surprisingly normal between the two of them. For some reason, Laxus had it in his head that they would have to worry about a sort of awkwardness. Lucy had asked him to a dance! How much more awkward could it get?

But things weren’t awkward. Lucy continued to smile and talk with him in the same way that she always had, it didn’t appear as though she’d been affected too much by the whole ordeal. Or even at all, for that matter.

Even as they sat together during lunch, Lucy happily spoke of a lab that had gone horribly wrong during her last class. Apparently, her lab partner had accidentally added a bit too much of some kind of chemical that he couldn’t pronounce and the whole south side of the school wound up smelling like a mix of rotten eggs and spoiled milk.

While the rest of her class had been completely disgusted and mortified, Lucy had found the whole situation to be quite humorous. That much was clear in the way that she could barely contain her giggles as she struggled to get the whole story out for Laxus.

“You should have seen the way everybody was diving for the door that leads outside, even the teacher was pushing kids aside to get out there.” Lucy wiped away tears that had formed in response to her fit of laughter, she sighed. A perfect sound of contentment that made Laxus smile a bit.

“I can’t say I’m a fan of rotten food smells.” That and, Laxus enjoyed hearing Lucy talk so much, he wasn’t sure he was willing to have experienced that story any other way. Her voice was just so soothing, he felt a little bit like a creep for enjoying it so much. But of course, he couldn't really help it.

The way she weaved herself into his life so intricately right under his nose went against everything that was drilled into him by his father. Don’t get attached. Well… it’s too late for that. Much too late. His father never warned him about blonde haired angels who come barreling into your life like a hurricane of sass and laughter. He wasn’t quite sure what these feelings were, but he knew it was too late to turn back.

“Laxus?” Lucy’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Huh? Oh yeah.” He attempted to play it off with a smile but the look on her face told him he wasn’t successful.

“Anyways, are you ready for the test in Fiore History tomorrow? I’ve studied all week and I still don’t feel confident in my knowledge.” Lucy said with a sigh.

“Wait, you’re in that class too?” There is no way that Laxus would have missed seeing her in that class. Lucy wouldn’t let him live it down if he did.

“Well, yeah! I have it later in the day than you, silly. All juniors have to take it.” Laxus felt his cheeks tinge in embarrassment. He should have known that.

“Oh, right. I haven’t really studied at all but I guess I should…” He trailed off. Why would she be bringing this up in the first place? She never showed any interest in his studies before. Lucy sighed again, this time almost expectantly, and then it hit him.

“Would you… uh, like to study? Together I mean. We could study at my house. If you wanted of course.” He cleared his throat nervously. Talk much?

Lucy’s face lit up as she smiled, putting the sun to shame. She never failed to be the brightest person in the room.

“Okay! I’ll come over after school and we can study together. Do you have any snacks? We’ll definitely need snacks,” Laxus shook his head no in reply, “okay that’s fine. We can stop by my house on the way to grab some. Oh! That’s the bell. I’ll see you after school.” With that, she skipped off through the cafeteria leaving Laxus smiling after her.

In class, Laxus had a hard time keeping his eyes off of the clock. Each second passed slower than the next. His excitement was definitely getting the best of him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had invited a friend over to his house, let alone a girl. He’d never been in a place long enough to make any friends to invite over. Laxus was headed into unknown territory and Lucy was leading the way.  For the first time in his life, he felt like a normal teenager. Whatever that meant, anyways.

Like most teenage boys, Laxus wasn’t much of a believer in fate. There was no solid evidence that things happened for a reason with those reasons being beyond any person’s control. But the more he thought about that first day at Magnolia high, the more he started to consider the possibility. Lucy couldn’t have been the only office aid in the school but she just so happened to be that morning. What if he had gotten to school twenty minutes later that day? Surely he wouldn’t currently be on the edge of his seat waiting for the last bell to ring because of a girl. He definitely wasn’t complaining.

It felt like a small fire had started in the pit of his stomach. He hadn’t noticed it before but he was sure sparks were flying that first morning. Each day it was like Lucy was adding kindling, piece by piece. It made him feel… alive. He’d spent most of his life not having much of a purpose. Eat. Sleep. Go to school. Don’t anger father. Repeat. It was a life without color, a life without heat. The only thing he truly cared about was music. But now, he found himself listening to music less and talking to Lucy more. He found himself wondering about Lucy’s day instead of how to get his hands on the limited edition Bowie vinyl. He even started wearing his headphones less whenever Lucy was around.

In the hallways at school, that was a different story. The end of the day had finally arrived and Laxus was eager to get to their usual meeting spot.

He wasn’t surprised to find her waiting for him. The teacher had kept the class a few minutes late in order to finish his lecture.  Laxus took a moment to admire the way that her golden hair fell over her shoulders, he was amazed that such unruly looking hair could appeal so much to him. It always seemed so soft and inviting.

It was then that she caught him. Her brown eyes lit up in that familiar way when her gaze landed on him and… was that a slight tinge of pink to her cheeks? No, it had to have been the early evening light playing tricks on him. She waved and he quickly lessened the gap between them.

“We shouldn’t have to stop by my house for too long, I actually just went to the store yesterday for some and haven’t even taken them out of the bags.” She smiled at that, as though enjoying a secret before she spun on her heel and gestured for him to follow along. “Really, I’ve got a ton. You’re going to have a whole selection to choose from. Chips, popcorn, chocolate, blueberries, strawberries… you name it, I probably got it.”

Laxus couldn’t help but chuckle at that, “Geez, you sound like a dealer.”

Lucy laughed before playfully shoving him. The force behind her effort was pitiable, though the blond just chalked it up to their sheer size differences. Though… he couldn’t help but think about how fragile she seemed. Even through her tough words and actions, it wouldn’t take a whole lot for her to break.

That thought scared him.

“Who knows, maybe I am a dealer.” Lucy stuck her tongue out at him before she laughed again and started to run, leaving Laxus in her wake.

The young man pursued the girl and let her win the unspoken race. She cheered the entire walk from her front gate to the front door that she unlocked with a golden key that she pulled out of her school bag. She stole a quick glance back at him before she pushed open the door.

The room was dark but Laxus could still make out what looked to be a large living room as he followed Lucy inside. His assumptions were confirmed as she flipped on the lights. The living room was filled with beautiful dark wood furniture that looked like it had never been used. Beyond the living room was an even more grand kitchen. Based on the two rooms he’s seen, the house was immaculate but it didn’t feel right. It felt… sterile.  He followed wide-eyed behind Lucy as she walked towards the kitchen.

“This place is… amazing.” He commented while still taking in the sight. The kitchen was so large, at least three times the size of his bedroom and he thought his bedroom was a decent size.

“Oh, this old place? My mom would love to hear that. She’s an interior decorator. She changes the decor at least once every couple of months. It’s a good thing my dad’s a doctor so he can afford it… even if that means he’s gone often.”  Laxus tore his eyes off of the decor to look at Lucy. Her words had been tinged with sadness, a sadness he knew all too well.

It shocked him, knowing that she might be struggling with a similar problem that had plagued him for as long as he could remember. He studied her face. She was smiling, like she always was. Her face was an impenetrable wall, not betraying her emotions like her voice just had. Maybe behind that smile, she was just as alone as he was

“I gotta grab all of the snacks and then we can head to your house.” She began to dig through the cupboards. “Oh, I forgot that we don’t have any things to drink here. Do you have anything at your place?” She didn’t bother turning around to hear his answer as she pulled random boxes and bags onto the counter.

Laxus tried to picture the contents of his fridge. “We have energy drinks… and some green tea stuff.”

“Anything without caffeine? I’m… not supposed to have caffeine.” She replied.

“Just water. Maybe some juice? I can’t remember for sure. How come you can’t have caffeine?” Lucy paused slightly at his question, contemplating her answer.

“Well-” Before she could finish her sentence the front door opened.

“Luuuuucy, I’m home! I got those drinks you asked for from the store. I hope I’m-- oh!” Lucy’s mom halted as she noticed Laxus standing in her kitchen. “Well, hello. Who is this tall, handsome  young man?”

Laxus felt his face heat under her curious gaze. Lucy was the spitting image of her mother. The long blonde hair, coffee brown eyes, the whole nine yards. If he didn’t already know any better, he would have thought they were sisters.

“Mom, this is Laxus.” She left her spot at the cupboard to envelope her mom in a tight hug. Laxus ignored the dull pang in his chest as he watched the embrace and gave them a nervous smile.

“You didn’t tell me you had such a handsome boyfriend, Lucy!” Her mother exclaimed when they released each other from the hug.

“Mom!” Lucy screeched, her face turning a bright shade of scarlet. “Don’t embarrass me in front of my friend!”

Her mom gave Laxus a knowing wink. “Okay, okay. I’ll leave the two of you alone. Be safe!” She dropped the groceries on the counter and rushed out of the kitchen before Lucy could complain.

Just like her daughter, Lucy’s mom came in and out of the room like a tornado, leaving Laxus wondering what the hell had just happened.

“Let’s get out of here before she comes back.” She handed him a bag full of snacks and grabbed the drinks before pushing him out of the house as fast as she could.

The walk to Laxus’ house was relaxed. Neither of them spoke much, they were both stuck in their heads. Laxus kept replaying Lucy’s mother’s words in his head. She had called him Lucy’s boyfriend. And lucy didn’t deny it directly, although she did call him her friend right afterward. The thought of being Lucy’s boyfriend warmed him… and scared him.

There was no guarantee that he’d still be in Magnolia in the next month but he couldn’t deny the magnetic pull he felt towards Lucy. He could see them being close for a long time, even after he moved on to a new city. One thing he knew for certain was that he’d never find another Lucy in any other city out there.

The moment his thought process switched from ‘don’t get attached’ to ‘enjoy it while it lasts’ could be pinpointed to that walk to his house. If he couldn’t control how much time he had left in Magnolia, he could at least control how he spent his time there. He wanted to spend it by Lucy’s side.

It was starting to get dark by the time they arrived at Laxus’ house, the winter sun making its leave for the moon earlier every day.  Seeing the even darker house, Laxus made a mental note to leave the porch light on when he left for school in the mornings. He fumbled the keys in his hands, dropping them once. The sudden wave of nervousness hadn’t hit him until the two of them were standing on his doorstep, but it hit him hard nonetheless. He was bringing a friend, let alone a girl, to his house for the first time. There would be no one home to chaperone. Just him and Lucy. Alone.

“You okay?” Lucy’s question managed to pierce through the silence and shock Laxus out of his sudden, yet near suffocating anxiety over having her over. He couldn’t help but chuckle a bit before sending her a reassuring smile and nod.

“Yeah, I guess I’m still getting used to the new set of keys.” Which wasn’t entirely false, he wasn’t sure he would ever get used to one set of keys.

With only a bit more fidgeting with his keys and then the door knob, he was soon letting themselves in. The first thing he did was smack the light switch that was on his left.

“The place is a bit of a mess,” he admitted sheepishly as the room lit up. There were still several boxes scattered around, he simply hadn’t felt motivated enough to unpack. He never really did. Laxus’ father certainly never had the time to do so himself.

“I don’t mind!” Lucy sang happily as she removed her shoes and carefully set them next to where Laxus had placed his own. “Maybe one of these days I can help you unpack, it might help liven the place up a bit! I definitely wouldn’t mind. I have always enjoyed moving things around, I guess my mother rubbed off on me in that aspect.” She giggled softly before she turned her gaze to him, “Where will we be studying?”

His nerves began acting up again at this question and he realized that he probably should have thought about this a little bit more before agreeing to study at his place.

“I… actually don’t have a desk or anything set up. The carpet in my room is pretty soft, but I’d understand if you’d rather not work on the floor.” The ‘kitchen table’ was really just a bar counter and he’d only saw the need to have one bar stool for it.

His life really was not shaped to fit another person in it.

“That's fine by me! I don’t mind at all, lead the way.” She smiled and Laxus attempted to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. What was wrong with him?

His bedroom was equally as bad as the living room had been. Boxes remained stacked up against the wall, only a few were open.

“Alright, show me the notes you’ve taken! We can compare and then talk a little bit about what we’re struggling with and figure out from there what we should do about it.” Lucy said, immediately kneeling down in the middle of the room as she swung her bag from off of her back and set it on the floor in front of her.

Laxus watched her with a chuckle before he did the same.

Usually, homework or studying were things that Laxus preferred to put off as long as possible. Often times this would result in a zero or two, although this was typically fine because of how skilled he was when it came to actually taking tests.

He’d be screwed if he were a bad test taker.

Though this… this wasn’t so bad. He probably wouldn’t even mind doing his homework if he could do it by her side every day. He wasn’t sure what made it so much better, perhaps the occasional brush of their shoulders as they worked.

She smelled nice.

Her overall presence would be enough to make even counting grains of sand enjoyable.

One hour passed and quickly turned into two, before he knew it… the clock struck eight.

“Geez… where did the time go?” Lucy laughed after having glanced at her phone to check the time, “I should really head home. My mom will throw a fit if I’m not home by the time she gets ready for bed.”

Laxus stood as the blonde did and he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “I’ll walk you home.” Even though they’d see each other at school the next day, he didn’t want their time to end quite yet. He was enjoying her company outside of school too much.

“Okay!” Lucy replied as she gathered her notebooks back into her backpack.

She followed Laxus out of the house and into the chilly winter night. It had gotten considerably colder compared to the unusually warm winter day they had earlier and Lucy only had a light jacket to protect her from the bitter cold. Despite her attempts to hide it, Laxus could tell she was shivering. He’d never understand why girls never had warm enough jackets in the winter. It’s like they wanted to be cold or something. Or maybe…

“Are you cold?” Laxus asked the shivering blonde.

“N-no. I’m okay. My house is only a few blocks away anyways.” She replied, her breath creating white puffs of air in front of them.

“I can hear your teeth chattering from here. Why don’t you take my jacket?” He began to shrug off his long, fur-lined jacket.

“No! I don’t want to take your jacket. Then you’ll be cold!” She said, waving her hands in protest.

Laxus put the coat around her shoulders, “It’s only a few blocks anyways,” he teased, using her own words against her.

Lucy huffed in defeat but pulled the jacket tighter around herself, reveling in its warmth.

The rest of their walk was quiet. There was something about this silence that was different from their usual. Laxus couldn’t shake his hyper-awareness of Lucy walking next to him, wrapped in his jacket. Each time their shoulders would bump against each other, he’d lose track of what he was planning on saying to break the silence. She was walking closer than usual, Laxus thought. Soon Lucy’s house was in view and they hadn’t spoken a word since he lent her his jacket. Their night together was coming to its conclusion and he couldn’t let it end in silence.

However, just as he was opening his mouth… something unexpected happened. All of a sudden, mid-step, there was a softness thrown against him that completely took him by surprise.

The hug lasted only about three seconds, but he could have sworn it had stretched for an eternity as his brain struggled to comprehend what was happening. Before he could even return the hug, she was retreating. His jacket was thrown at him as she bid him goodnight and booked it the rest of the way home, her face hidden from his view.

Leaving a very shocked Laxus Dreyar in her wake.